<div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">In the brochure, how about these changes below?</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">a. It says "<a href="http://www.naralog.org">http://www.naralog.org</a>". Surely this is redundant. How about just "<a href="http://naralo.org">naralo.org</a>"? At the very least, omit 'www'. In the Engage with ICANN section, see how it omits the 'http://' and 'www' before all those links. So how about doing the same with '<a href="http://www.naralo.org">http://www.naralo.org</a>'?</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">b. There is a title 'The At Large Organisational Structure'. Maybe omit 'The'. It is unnecessary. A shorter title stands out more. For example, another section is titled 'Local Contact Info', and not 'The Local Contact Info'. Another section is titled 'Message from the chair and ...' and not 'A message from the chair ...'</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">A leading definite or indefinite article can often be omitted in a title or header, at least in English.</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">c. It says 'Naralo signs it's S'. The trailing S is a typo. So is the apostrophe.</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">d. Also, that sentence has no full stop.</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">e. This sentence does not make sense. 'NARALO signed ... in 2017' ?? Past and future tenses? This is 2016. 2017 has not happened yet.</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">f. 'NARALO in its participation in regional activities.' Is this meant to be a header? It does not flow with the succeeding sentence. Perhaps it needs a line break and bold or larger font.</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">g. 'Because of the size of the region’s population, ' Why is there a blank line between this and the rest of the sentence?</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">h. 'with-in' should not have the hyphen</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">i. 'NARALO has a signed MOU with ARIN. American Registry Internet Numbers in 2014 . ' Perhaps this should be 'NARALO signed an MOU with ARIN (American Registry Internet Numbers) in 2014.'</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">j. 'in-dependent' should be 'independent'</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small">Dr Wes Boudville</div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:small"><br></div></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sun, Sep 11, 2016 at 9:38 AM, Louis Houle <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:louis.houle@oricom.ca" target="_blank">louis.houle@oricom.ca</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
<div bgcolor="#FFFFFF" text="#000000">
<p>I agree with Eduardo's comments.</p>
<p>The second version looks good!<span class="HOEnZb"><font color="#888888"><br>
</font></span></p><span class="HOEnZb"><font color="#888888">
<pre cols="72">Louis Houle
President
ISOC Quebec
<a href="mailto:Louis.Houle@isoc.quebec" target="_blank">Louis.Houle@isoc.quebec</a>
</pre></font></span><div><div class="h5">
<div>Le 2016-09-07 à 13:39, Eduardo Diaz a
écrit :<br>
</div>
<blockquote type="cite">
<div dir="ltr">I believe the NARALO color is yellow - why red?
<div><br>
</div>
<div>To have a brochure that has a longer life:</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>. Eliminate Glenn and Judith names and </div>
<div>. Have a general email like <a href="mailto:chair@naralo.com" target="_blank">chair@naralo.com</a> and
<a href="mailto:secretary@naralo.com" target="_blank">secretary@naralo.com</a> or
whatever general email that can be set up so whoever is the
current chair/secretary receives the mails. </div>
<div>. Eliminate the number 27 where is says NARALO has.... </div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>If we leave these things there as soon as we get an extra
ALs, the brochure is obsolete, as soon as the chair/secretary
changes, the brochure is obsolete.<br>
</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>The rest look good to me.</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>-ed</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<br>
<div class="gmail_quote">
<div dir="ltr">On Wed, Sep 7, 2016 at 1:24 PM Glenn McKnight
<<a href="mailto:mcknight.glenn@gmail.com" target="_blank">mcknight.glenn@gmail.com</a>>
wrote:<br>
</div>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
<div dir="ltr">Here is the updated brochure
<div><br clear="all">
<div>
<div data-smartmail="gmail_signature">
<div dir="ltr">Glenn McKnight<br>
<a href="mailto:mcknight.glenn@gmail.com" target="_blank">mcknight.glenn@gmail.com</a><br>
skype gmcknight<br>
twitter gmcknight<br>
.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
------<br>
NA-Discuss mailing list<br>
<a href="mailto:NA-Discuss@atlarge-lists.icann.org" target="_blank">NA-Discuss@atlarge-lists.<wbr>icann.org</a><br>
<a href="https://atlarge-lists.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/na-discuss" rel="noreferrer" target="_blank">https://atlarge-lists.icann.<wbr>org/mailman/listinfo/na-<wbr>discuss</a><br>
<br>
Visit the NARALO online at <a href="http://www.naralo.org" rel="noreferrer" target="_blank">http://www.naralo.org</a><br>
------</blockquote>
</div>
</div>
<br>
<fieldset></fieldset>
<br>
<pre>------
NA-Discuss mailing list
<a href="mailto:NA-Discuss@atlarge-lists.icann.org" target="_blank">NA-Discuss@atlarge-lists.<wbr>icann.org</a>
<a href="https://atlarge-lists.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/na-discuss" target="_blank">https://atlarge-lists.icann.<wbr>org/mailman/listinfo/na-<wbr>discuss</a>
Visit the NARALO online at <a href="http://www.naralo.org" target="_blank">http://www.naralo.org</a>
------</pre>
</blockquote>
<br>
</div></div></div>
<br>------<br>
NA-Discuss mailing list<br>
<a href="mailto:NA-Discuss@atlarge-lists.icann.org">NA-Discuss@atlarge-lists.<wbr>icann.org</a><br>
<a href="https://atlarge-lists.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/na-discuss" rel="noreferrer" target="_blank">https://atlarge-lists.icann.<wbr>org/mailman/listinfo/na-<wbr>discuss</a><br>
<br>
Visit the NARALO online at <a href="http://www.naralo.org" rel="noreferrer" target="_blank">http://www.naralo.org</a><br>
------<br></blockquote></div><br></div>